Briefly, what to do when Parental Alienation gets you

Home page of Open Minds Foundation website

Welcome to the launch of the new Open Minds Foundation website!

And, first of all, could you please check and advise on this new very brief guide there:

WHAT TO DO ABOUT PARENTAL ALIENATION … as an excluded parent, as an alienated child, and as a by-stander.

The Open Minds Foundation is committed to tackling all kinds of harmful coercive persuasion – generally known as ‘undue influence’.

There, we have worked on how to include the patterns of family coercion: coercive control in domestic violence, child abuse and parental alienation.

The alienation experience is a key part of harmful coercive persuasion in every kind of family and non-family situations. To be harmfully coerced you need to be cut off from outside information and healthy relationships. In a word that’s: Alienation.

But there’s only the one specific pattern commonly named to include the word ‘alienation’. And that’s: Parental Alienation.

Here’s the sub-headings in that guide on what to do about Parental Alienation:

  • What is Parental Alienation?
  • As an excluded parent
  • As an alienated young child
  • As an alienated grown up child
  • As a by-stander
  • Next steps

Please read and recommend the brief guideline on the Open Minds Foundation website. It is essential to get good information as quickly as possible into the hands of those who get pushed in the deep end of Parental Alienation. Please feedback here:  Contact us

And, of course, browse and learn from all the rest of that website too! The search box works best.

Nick Child, Edinburgh

About Nick Child

Retired child and family shrink and family therapist living, working and playing in Edinburgh.

5 comments

  1. lostdad

    Reblogged this on LOST DAD.

    Like

  2. Reblogged this on Parental Alienation and commented:
    What is Parental Alienation?
    As an excluded parent
    As an alienated young child
    As an alienated grown up child
    As a by-stander
    Next steps

    Like

  3. Reblogged this on | truthaholics and commented:
    “Please read and recommend the brief guideline on the Open Minds Foundation website. It is essential to get good information as quickly as possible into the hands of those who get pushed in the deep end of Parental Alienation.”

    Like

  4. Anne

    Hello,

    The guidelines mention “tribal side-taking” but I do not think it is necessarily that. What gets mentioned far too little is that most, if not all parents who indulge in severe parental alienation actually have a Cluster B Personality Disorder, usually Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder. This makes them “split” other people into one of two camps — all-good or all-bad. The other parent comes to be viewed as all-bad, and then the alienating parent gets to play rescuer to the children.

    But more than that, the alienating parent develops a psychosis, and vulnerable children/youth become part of a Shared Psychosis. The alienators become paranoid, they live in a world of lies and deceit, and they Gaslight the other parent. The children are pulled into this non-real world, to become involuntarily Narcissistically abusive to the targeted parent themselves.

    However, so are Enablers and “Flying Monkeys” abusive to the targeted parent. Check the Pathological Narcissism literature for definitions. Suffice to say, alienating parents need help mounting a good Smear Campaign against the target parent. They convince previously mutual friends, extended family, school staff, clergy/fellow parishioners, neighbours, and just about everyone else the targeted parent knows to join them in smearing the former spouse/parent. It amazes me how readily many people buy into this — reminds me of some of the classic social science experiments. It seems that the first one to get there with lies, wins. Too many people are loathe to change their minds after they have committed, even once they learn about the lies.

    But getting back to the tribe, think of it this way. If an alienating parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, he/she comes from a family in which there were not too many options other than growing up to be a Narcissist or an Empath, if one or more parents had been that way. Few of them ever develop the motivation to see or to change.

    Attachment Disorders of this nature are inter-generational. Someone must break free of this before the next generation can be spared. If not, and children raised this way grow up to have children themselves, the burden is passed on. And then, between the concepts of Assortative Mating and Re-enactment Compulsion (or, “Human Magnet Syndrome”), a Pathological Narcissist is going to marry either another Narcissist or an Empath. Therefore, you wind up with dysfunctional extended family on both sides. The Narcs amongst them would be delighted to help crush the living daylights out of the overly empathetic target parent. And this applies to either the alienating parent’s own family members, or even his in-laws (they do no necessarily support their own side).

    When people say, “Oh, come on……you can’t have that many Pathological Narcissists amongst your own family and in-laws!!. You’re seeing Narcs everywhere! Just who is deluded, hm-m-m?” Yes you can, have that many. Depends on the number of children altogether in a family, and how many identified with the Narcissist parent. Usually, far fewer grow up to be Empaths, because it takes more courage and truth-adherence. So you do tend to get large family clusters of these disorders, and then each individual is prone to marry into another family cluster. You can see how the virus thus replicates so readily.

    Like

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