There’s a new Climbing the mountain page to click in the top menu of the blog. Reading it all in one go is, as the name suggests, a bit arduous. So this is the opener of a series of posts that will unpack it in stages – a better way to digest and improve something this important.
It would be particularly good if you could put us right about where this kind of exercise has been done before or better.
Introducing the Mountain
In the UK or anywhere, high conflict family separation is a mountain of a field to get to grips with. The system involves so many agencies, authorities, professionals, and client families – and so many diverse and divergent views about what to do.
High conflict separation presents in all its forms. So this mountainous field includes the whole complex range, the good the bad and the ugly alike. We can expect that specific patterns and risks will be promptly assessed, differentiated out and skilfully handled. We can’t expect the mountain to be partial, neatly giving us only risk and proven abuse, or only Parental Alienation or Abduction, depending on our own particular interests. So scoping and route-planning the mountain like this, is going to team up parties – e.g. across gendered groupings – people who are otherwise firm enemies over the subject of family abuse and conflict.
One imagines that there are integrated groups of people working on this in their own corners. But if they put their head above the parapet, they may get shot down in flames. So we don’t seem to have a lot of access to much of the joined up thinking that is needed to getting everything sorted.
Who dares to sketch the mountain and set out some routes to get to the top? Let’s have a go in the alienation experience blog. Please help fill in gaps and propose improvements.
The headings are:
- Overall Aims
- Prevention and Early Intervention: Before Going to Court
- Prevention and Early Intervention: In Courts
- Enduring Cases
- Awareness Raising
- Coordinating Our Efforts
- Comprehensive Services and Standards
- Some Benefits of Sketching the Mountain
- The overall aim is to understand and help separated families and children to avoid, resolve or otherwise get out of enduring high conflict patterns of all kinds to stop the harm those cause.
It has to be “of all kinds”. Often there is a mixture (or hybrid) of unreasonable reactions and thinking, talk and behaviour, of alleged and actual risk and abuse too. High conflict includes specific patterns at one end of the spectrum: Child and Parental Alienation and Child Abduction. Those dealing with high conflict separation must be qualified to spot and know what should be done about the whole range. However, there are several separate sections to climbing this mountain.
- The top priority throughout is the present and future welfare of any children involved.
It is fair to assume that ALL enduring high conflict separation is emotionally abusive to the children. If nothing is done, there can be long-term harm throughout their lives. Dispensing with one parent may seem to solve the conflict, but it usually harms the child. So the child’s welfare may not be simply achieved, but it is the main reason why this mountain must be climbed.
Other reasons are the extreme distress to parents and other family members, and the extreme financial costs of often prolonged frustrating legal and professional involvement that plainly doesn’t often work very well.
In what follows, below each heading is a summary of that aspect of the mountain, along with some ‘Aims’ that point the need for a route up it. …. To be continued. (If you can’t wait, read on here.)
… So, is this introduction clear and agreeable? Please Comment below to say anything that you think would improve it.
Next time: Prevention and Early Intervention: Before Going to Court